At the beginning of July I was writing this post about the "non discipline parenting" as told by Naomi Aldort.
Back then my daughter was going through lots of tantrums! One every day was lucky. We usually had a couple every day first one definitely to happen because she had to go to nursery.
Back then we had all these rules that we were following religiously like the "time out" and the "reward chart" and so on.
As we were desperate we said that we will try everything.
So I start watching more of Naomi's you tube videos and we tried to apply as much of the SALVE as possible.
You can read or watch more about her method on her website. I should tell you I am not an expert just yet but her method certainly helped. My daughter doesn't have as many tantrums anymore. I mean if she has one a week it's a BIG deal. We try to understand life from her point of view too. But believe me that doesn't mean that we always day YES to her. Not at all. She is still just a 3 and a half years old. She has moments when she gets upset we say no to her and storms out of the living room and just goes to her bedroom for quiet time. Kids will be kids still.
We treat things differently and show her in a kind way when she is wrong but we make sure we show her how much we live her either way.
The best part is when she hugs us and tells us how much she loves us.
We will continue with this "method" when our second baby will come too and hopefully that will mean that our kids will grow up to be confident and loving creatures.
The smile that we put on our daughter face by showing her how much we love her is the best thing in the world, the most precious.
Here is another video from Naomi:
Things I learned the past two months:
- for my daughter showing her love is showing her attention; playing and interacting with my daughter is more important than gifts;
- when I don't give my daughter enough attention that's when she starts acting badly - she's "naughty";
- my daughter is happy when I just give her love; unconditional love and not only when she's done something right;
- showing my daughter love and respect makes her happy;
- praising her makes her happy too because she feels appreciated;
- because I listen to her needs she listens to mine/ours;because she is happy she tries to make me happy by being good;
That's all for now. Remember - you just need to item to your instinct and respond to the love you have inside you for our kids.
Kids are simple creatures and they just love being loved.
I know I'm writing about a technique but really this is not one of those techniques that needs to be followed or otherwise your child will be so and so...
As always I would love to read your opinions so please comment and let me know what you think.